NON-FICTION JOURNEY THROUGH LAW SCHOOL FROM A MEDIOCRE STUDENT
"I am not exaggerating...this is one of the FUNNIEST books I've ever read. Finally, a law school book wrtitten from outside the top 10%" -- William Street J.D. Iowa Law School, Business Attorney
"This is easily a $35.00 read." - Spencer Fiedling J.D. Graduate of Duke Law School
"A must read for every graduate student." - Dan Haslam, Business Real Estate Beijing China
"NON-FICTION COMEDY AT ITS FINEST, A MUST READ FOR ALL LAW SCHOOL STUDENTS." Dp pUBlishing
"Just Sue: The American Way"
If anyone reading this book is offended or feels libeled or defamed, you will understand upon reading that a lawsuit against me will be futile. I have no money or assets to speak of. There is no insurance to cover the contents of the book.
I have a White Oldsmobile with a dent and scratch on the right side. Negotiations of settlement will likely need to include forfeiture, auction and liquidation of this asset. Let me know in advance if you are going to sue me. I will gladly provide you this vehicle (shipping pre-paid); without the other unneeded hassle.
The stories in this book are absolutely real. The names, firms, corporations and minor details have been changed where necessary in order to protect the guilty and former clients. If other exaggerations occur, please forgive me for exceeding my creative license. Book Preview.
"I'd rather flip burgers"
On the first day of law school, the professor went around the room asking each first year law student what they wanted to do with their J.D. The first answer came from a student in a shirt and tie across the room from me, he had his black briefcase next to him leaning against the legs of his chair, “I want to serve the underprivileged and bring justice to the unfortunate.” Dang, good answer I thought to myself, I won’t be able to beat that. The next answer was from a short, fat and somewhat slimy looking kid wearing glasses and a striped collar shirt that muffined out at the waist line, “my short term goal is to finish highly ranked in the class, work for the biggest national law firm defending class action lawsuits and eventually work up to an Appellate or High Court Judge.”
“Loser”, I whispered to the girl with spiked red hair, wearing a navy suit coat and black tie who was sitting next to me. She starred back without acknowledgment.
“Mr. Levi Barber, what do you want to do?”
I stood up, sure of what I had spent the past 2 minutes memorizing. “Sir, I’m an aspiring business/transactional attorney, I hope to achieve this by hard work, good grades and some sleepless nights.” I sat back down.
“Liar”, I whispered under my breath. What I really want is to work less and make a lot of money. I’d really like to spend about 7 hours at the office, 2 hours at the golf course and 1 hour at lunch. I’d like to stay away from stuff shirt, high collared corporate types that treat everyone else like their secretary. I’d like to make a comfortable living without fighting too hard.
The truth is I want to be a personal injury attorney.
"I'm still living in my parents' basement"
I finished law school with $56,000 in loans that were scheduled to become owing six months following my graduation date. I had scheduled to repay them within 20 years at $735.00 per month. After I learned of my anticipated salary, I reapplied for the longest repayment plan of 50 years at $335 dollars a month. If I continue on this course of repayment, my final school loan repayment will be made when I am 76 years old.
Most of my law school friends finished law school with $100,000 to $200,000 dollars in debt. Those that were ranked high enough to secure a high paying big firm job will easily be able to afford a house and make loan repayments. They will have other issues to deal with such as late nights, little family life and high stress.
Those that finished at or near the same ranking in the class as me will be facing a repayment of a minimum $800 - $900 dollars a month. If they purchase a modest home that requires $1,500 a month in mortgage payments and costs, they will have to make over $6,500 a month, before taxes, just to stay afloat. Those that finished in the bottom 25% may not pass the bar or find a job. Their loans will live and die with them.
Following law school, we had additional expenses come in the form of a baby boy. Heather has been cutting hair more frequently now. I took a winter job coaching basketball for a local high school. I’m currently looking for a part time job for the summer and writing this book in hopes to someday pay off my loans.
I have sent this book to eleven literary gents. I am yet to receive a response.
I also run a news blog that asks for donations.
I have two relatives that are lawyers that are both over 30 years old, have 4+ children each and still live in their parents’ basements.
After paying all of our bills, we finished last month with $26.04 in the bank. We decided to put $10.00 into savings for a rainy day.
I told my wife that an umbrella costs twice that
much.
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